Everybody Must Get Hosed (These Daze)

Extra, extra!

Pinhead wiz in miracle cure
... Shmackadabum report to debut!

TIBURON, Calif. -- Hello again, voldys.

Just a touch of type to say, several months after that wondrous visit to Colombia, that yes, I stand stubborn on El Marmato and its fab promise of gold dust. Und oy! ... as Londre's east ending tuffs lip before heaving bodies into that Thames' inky drink. Oy! I got news (at the bottom of this teeter totter pyramid).

Foist my voldys are the goldies we look to hook. Which means, morts of mine, that I (we) are getting hosed. Colombia Goldfields is getting run into the dust of its own drill holes. As the shares, like nearly all gold mining shares, like all small company shares, like all speculations these daze, lose their value in many stock markets (possible exception: Brazil), the tiny Canadian company is denied its chance at rounding up the $20 million or $25 million it desires to secure part of our storied Latin American mountain, El Marmato, crawling it be with campesinos hauling sacks of mineral-laden boulders on their worthy busted backsides.

Big breath!

Finance 202 I guess: Paper no longer accepted ... we are shtupped. Unless someone saves the day. One of Colombia Goldfields' London-based directors,Edward Flood of Haywood Securities, tells me the company is still in talks with several potential backers. Flood hopes the company can come to terms with a lender or an investor interested in warrants without severely diluting current shareholders.

We (my family and I) have held onto all of the shares of Colombia Goldfields (CGDF on NAZ) that we own. The company's equity has lost about four-fifths of its value in the past six months. Welcome to the clobbered club. Am I in the outhouse or what?

I believe, though. I believe because I have seen El Ma ma Ma yo Ma! El Marmato, zee mountain some three hours' rough and ready drive from ciudad Medellin (Please see previous articles below.) That does not mean YOU need or have to believe. We here at Chez Thom still own the 60,000 shares that cost us about $50,000 oil-ier this year.

If it be any consolation, I noticed something today (actually Wednesday of this week) that I have not seen in many a day. Or year. The metal known as gold, dense and heavy element it is, fell in price, a double dollar amount, yet the gold miners' shares somehow rose. Perhaps the redemptions in mutual and hedge funds have slowed, thus putting the brakes on liquidation of natural resources companies?

Transphat: Zee companies are leading the way, not zee metal? We shall see next week.

So two updates from my Tiburon neck of the woods:

• The novel, PABLO BY NUMBERS for les innocents among us, is complete. Please see thomcalandra.com for more. Or not. We are taking names of those who want to read the book, which awaits publication. Simply jag me at thom.calandra (at) gmail dot com. Or thom.calandra (at) yahoo dot com. Visit this page -- PABLO BY NUMBERS: The Excerpts -- to get a gourmand's taste for the SHMACKADABUM hilarity of newsletters, beady-pied stock promoters and some of the best thin-crust pizza (con gorgonzola topping) this side of Bensonhurst.


• Beloved voldy morts oy! The udder nooze is this: I am preparing to christen a report, to be published and distributed to subscribers under the benevolent stewardship of Stockhouse.com. The idea, after ... what has it been almost five years of sabbatical? ... the idea is to paint a landscape of the globe's finest, most delectable investment/friendship/noi mangiamo opps. We'll try to produce, with delightful fanfare, what I was doing for THE CALANDRA REPORT, and I promise strict shmacka-da-bum compliance with any and all laws regarding my scrip. I also promise plenty of opportunity for everyone, including those who love fine cuisine, lots of belly laughs, yeh, und money too, always coin in the delivery I know, and I wonder more than sometimes just why. Anyway, yes, it all shall be there, and the best part (in my bookie), the first-hand reports from fields of broken corporate dreams.


• Especially (I can add bullets anytime I want on this dangy blogger), this new thing is for those who appreciate the verve and vigor of selecting what we believe will be choices that shall make a small band of subscribers more coin than those closing scenes from "The Italian Job." Oh pray it be so! We also intend to stage a series of cozy dinners and other rendenzvous with the voldy morts who have pledged to straddle the latitude of all the longitudes we hurdle in our search for what is, err, well, what is. I hope to unveil several preview issues of the as yet unnamed report on Stockhouse.com, my glorious partner and publisher with a northern exposure (offices in New York, Toronto and Vancouver, Canada). That would be later this month and early in October. The new report in its subscription glory (as in, costs money) likely will debut in very early November. Gee, just in time for the hols! And no, I have no idea yet how much it will cost, but I do intend to lobby for a price that in the first month or two will reward voldy morts who have stuck with me through thick and thin -- and I know there are almost 620 of you loyal voldys out there clanging the bell. Any ideas for a name, besides THE CALANDRA REPORT, please ring my bell, send me a note. Take the naming load off me and those fine execs up north who are paying the bills.

Nothing more to say, for now. Good morning, beloved voldy morts.

-- Thom in Tiburon (www.thomcalandra,com) ... and river rafting/fishing/spelunker doodling with zee kids this summer '08 across historic mining tracts on Northern California's American River. South Fork? Middle Fork? Oh for the fork of it I just cannot remember.